you are forgiven

you cheat - i forgive
you leave - i forgive
you take - i forgive
you accuse - i forgive
you devalue - i forgive
you wound - i forgive
you devastate - i forgive
you aggrieve - i forgive

for all of the anguish you have caused me
for all of the things of value that you have taken from me
for robbing me of time spent with those i love most
for breaking my heart
for crushing my soul
for your unfaithfulness
for breaking our Holy bonds

you are forgiven

Why Blog

As I sit here and stare at this crisp, clean white space before, me a question crosses my mind. What do I want to blog about today? Or better yet, why bother to blog at all? Why take the time to fill this empty space with whatever comes pouring out of my psyche? Does the world really need one more person offering their opinions?

Opinions ...

Someone once said that opinions are like bowel movements. We all have them, but who really wants to hear about any one else’s! Someone else said that opinions are like arm pits (cleaned up version) everybody has them and most of the time they stink! Maybe opinions are more like the photos we carry in our wallets, we are all proud of them, some people will politely indulge us while we share them, but few people are genuinely interested in any one else's.

As usual, I tend to take a different tack. I consider it very closed minded and intellectually stagnating to not consider all of the different angles pertaining to any particular issue. Granted, in today’s highly polarized, highly partisan, political climate it is hard to care about or to give heed to any of the shrill voices vying for my attention. In my personal life, every acquaintance seems to know exactly how I should conduct my everyday business. In fact, it is extremely difficult to exist and not be constantly bombarded by a plethora of unsolicited opinions. It is enough to tempt me to shut it all out sometimes, and yet, I do still value, and often indeed benefit from the advice of others.

The thing is that not all opinions deserve to be given equal weight. There are a handful of people whose opinions I very much value. To use a current buzz word, to me they have gravitas. There are other people whose advice is about as valuable as yesterday’s coffee grinds. The trick is in deciding who to and who not to listen to.

But, back to the original question, why do we blog? Why do we feel so compelled to constantly offer our opinions? Perhaps it stems from the universal need in each of us to be heard and to be understood; not even to necessarily be agreed with, but to at least know that our opinion is heard and considered by someone somewhere; a cry for the simple acknowledgement of our existence and our intrinsic worth. I am. I have value. Hear me. Acknowledge me.

Perhaps the blog is a better way of sharing our thoughts. We can feel good about writing out our feelings and benefit from the catharsis of the writing process and yet not force anyone into one of those uncomfortable, unwanted discussions. Perhaps if more people engaged in this outlet, less people would feel compelled to corner others at the grocery store and subject them to their overly enthusiastic, meandering rants. Hmmm ... better living through blogging!

My own blogging has evolved in the few short months that I have been at it. It started as simply a way to vent, but as soon as I became aware that a few people actually read my posts something changed. Now I feel a duty, an obligation of sorts, to actually have something to say that is worth the time that people take to read it.

As I opine, I find that the times when I am most unguarded and transparent are the very times that I seem to tap into the universal feelings that we all share and seldom express. Once I tackle a difficult subject it tends to lose it's power of intimidation over me. There are things that we all feel and think, that are hard to admit to or give voice to, but that desperately need to be acknowledged.

So, to fellow bloggers out there I say, "God's speed to you". Get out your dictionary and thesaurus, face your demons and inner angst, write from the heart, use your spell checker, ALWAYS PROOFREAD before you post, and don't be afraid to tackle difficult subjects. The things that you are most afraid to write about are the very things that will resonate the most and have the greatest impact on your readers.

To use a buzz phrase - that’s my take on it. What’s your opinion?

The Frolicking Calf Lesson

I have been asking God lately to teach me. A few days ago, He brought a lesson to me from a very unexpected source.

I was driving along Highway 90, as I often do, because a big part of my job is driving up and down that highway. I was hauling something or other to someplace or other.

Besides there being almost endless cane fields, there are also a fair number of pastures along the way. Grazing in one such pasture were numerous cattle. Among them were several calves, probably a month or two old. I don't really know their age, I am no rancher. No one will seek me out to consult with me when preparing next year's Farmer's Almanac. This is strictly a guess based on my not having noticed them there a month or so ago. Suffice it to say they were old enough to have just mastered the whole quadrupedal locomotion thing.

One in particular had mastered it enough that he, or she, as the case may be – here again, I am no expert, and, even if I was, I don't know that I could have differentiated them from the highway at seventy miles per hour any way, and even if I could, it really makes no difference to this lesson, but, as is my custom, I digress – was trotting playfully about the lush, green field. All of the other cattle, old and young alike, were serenely grazing, as cattle usually do, but this particular calf was frolicking, chasing butterflies and birds and literally kicking up her, or his, heels, or, more precisely, hooves.

Honestly, the first thought that crossed my mind was - "poor little calf". If he, or she, only knew the truth. This little calf is destined to never know life outside of a fence. He, or she, will never know freedom. He, or she, will die at the prime of his, or her, life so that I can have something to throw on the pit some weekend in the future. What a wretched existence. What a bleak future to look forward to, if livestock could indeed contemplate the future.

Surely he, or she, would be behaving totally differently if he, or she, understood his, or her, situation.

As I pondered this poor senseless beast and the blessing of my own sentience, I felt pretty smug. I think, therefore I am. My superior intellect allows me to comprehend the world around me, and understand my lot in life. It allows me to fully grasp the vanity of my days here on this planet.

And yet, there was this dull beast frolicking about, and there I was working and wondering when I would be able to afford a vacation. For a moment I felt a definite twinge of jealousy – of this dull beast.

Then I thought, what if that calf could reason? Would the knowledge of his, or her, actual circumstance steal that pleasurable moment from him, or her? Would the knowledge of all that is wrong with his, or her, world prevent him, or her, from being "in the moment"? Is ignorance bliss? Does, as Solomon said, with much knowledge come much sorrow?

Then it hit me, finally – a moment of clarity and lucidity. It doesn't matter. Whether all is right with my world or the world in general, or whether my world or the world in general is going to hell in a hand-basket (whatever that means), each moment of beauty we can squeeze out of this existence is to be enjoyed and treasured. Whether the world ends tomorrow or I live to be a hundred, it comes down to how I live each moment I am granted.

So, is it better live in blissful ignorance or as a learned, jaded cynic? Perhaps a wisdom beyond mere knowledge teaches us that even in the worst of circumstances, there are always opportunities to stop and enjoy a simple pleasure.